Love, Leadership, and Liberation: Breaking Free from Settling to Achieve Success
I almost lost my marriage.
After 3 kids and over 10 years together I had to have one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had.
I told the person that I knew I was meant to spend the rest of my life with, I couldn’t do it anymore.
Not because I didn’t love him anymore, but because I loved myself enough to ask for change.
He stood in the kitchen and the second those words left my mouth I felt a simultaneous rush of fear and relief.
I felt terrible for hurting him and empowered for speaking my truth.
Neither of us had done anything “wrong” but there were things that needed to change for us to be truly happy. I wanted more from him, from our relationship and for our future.
So I did something that many people never do, I spoke up even with the fear of losing it all.
Most people normalize being unhappy.
Unhappy in relationships where instead of marriage they coexist with a roommate.
Unhappy in their work where money is coming, external accomplishments are shining and the fulfillment is nonexistent.
Unhappy with themselves in the way they look, feel and show up in the day to day.
Unhappy and lost when they have everything they ever wanted wondering… why doesn’t it feel like enough?
People settle, women stay quiet, and leaders stay unfulfilled.
I wasn’t going to be one of those people.
Your Partner isn’t Your Roommate, Your Title is Not Your Life
Have you ever considered how easy it is to fall into a routine of disconnection?
Work is busy. Life is hectic. Parenting is tough.
There’s always something that is capitalizing on your time and energy.
And so you settle, because it’s been normalized to be stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted when you are leading a company.
You justify your emotions and lack of presence as a sacrifice you are making for the same people you are ignoring.
And it’s not your fault, it’s just what you’ve seen and what you know.
Because leaders before you have done the same.
It’s been normalized to work too many hours, not get enough sleep, never take a real lunch and answer emails at all hours.
You’re devoted to your work and your impact, at what cost?
“It’s just part of it.”
But it doesn’t have to be.
The problem is, there aren’t many people willing to speak up and possibly lose it all in pursuit of a better way.
You can change that. You can create a new way to lead and live that is no longer an example of sacrificing your happiness and well-being in the name of “success”...
What if being willing to lose it all was exactly what you needed to HAVE IT ALL?
Stop Settling For Less
The possibility that we can have presence with the people we love, time to enjoy our life away from work, relationships that make our hearts swell, and run a successful business breaks our brains.
It’s honestly easier to settle for what’s been done before us.
And to continue to congratulate exhaustion and wear overworking as a badge of honor.
It’s just never going to give you the life you really want.
Are you actually living the life you really want to live right now?
What would your life look like if you didn’t settle for the norm?
It’s easy to slip out of the position of power that we hold as humans, to let external happenings dictate where, how and why we move.
And so easy to forget that we hold the key to making the changes we want.
You have the power of choice.
Settling for less than you deserve in your work, home, relationships, finances, friendships…
Is a choice.
So, what do you do?
Make a different choice, even though you are afraid you might mess it up, make someone mad or lose something.
Make the choice, speak the words, take the action, hire the help that YOU want and is connected to your true happiness.
As a leader you are called to be an example, for the eyes who are observing inside and outside your home.
What’s Actually Possible
When you are happy, your quality to lead and ability to create a bigger impact is directly affected.
You can lead with compassion and care instead of resentment and frustration.
If you choose to prioritize your happiness, step away from societal norms and create a bigger business alongside a fulfilling life - that will be your choice, and so it will be.
Speaking up, refusing to settle and being adamant about knowing there is a different way that doesn't require sacrificing yourself or your relationships is the only way to truly have it all.
So, again I ask.. Are you actually living the life you really want to live right now?
You’ll hear people say after a rough time with a partner and finding themselves back in the groove again, “I got back the man/woman I married!” and I can't say that was the case for me.
Instead, I got back a better, stronger, happier husband who is committed to the betterment of himself and took control of his path forward.
A few words saved our marriage and created bigger happiness than we’ve ever had, 12 years later and we are better than ever.
Your business and your life can feel better than ever if you stop settling for anything less than what you deserve.