When I talk to other moms in business, I hear a common struggle: How to stay connected with your spouse when everything else seems to demand attention.
You start out with the best intentions…planning regular date nights, carving out time to chat. But before you know it, the business and family demands pile up and your relationship starts to take the back seat.
That’s something I’ve definitely experienced. The days get long, and the to-do list grows, but marriage is one of the first things to slip, if you don’t nurture it, too.
Your relationship deserves more than leftover time at the end of a long day, yet, you’re not sure how to prioritize it in the chaos.
In a recent conversation with my husband, best friend and business partner, Eric, we got real about the challenges of balancing business success and family life and what it takes to keep each part of our lives thriving. Here’s what’s worked for us.
Why Your Marriage Needs to Come First, Too
Some people will say, “My kids are the most important thing in my life.”
While we get that sentiment, what we’ve learned is if you have a marriage, it can’t just be a matter of “kids first” and “spouse second.” It needs to be “1A and 1B.”
Why?
Because if your relationship is rocky, it directly affects your children.
You might think you’re covering it all, but kids are more perceptive than we often give them credit for. They might not pick up on the same things adults do, but they can feel when there’s tension, when things are off, or when parents are distant.
Over time, that disconnect can create underlying issues in the family dynamic.
That’s why we always emphasize making time for each other, even in the busy seasons. It’s about nurturing the foundation of your marriage so you can show up as your best selves for your kids, too.
It’s not selfish to make your marriage a priority — it’s essential for everyone’s well-being.
How My Husband And I Prioritize Our Marriage
Set Realistic Expectations
In the past, I had this belief that in order for our relationship to thrive, we had to spend hours together. But I’ve learned that setting unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of failure. It’s about shifting the mindset from quantity to quality. Even just 15 minutes of meaningful connection is a win.
As Eric wisely put it, “I had to let go of expecting everything to be perfect. It’s about understanding that the season we’re in doesn’t have to look like someone else’s relationship.”
This perspective helped us stop chasing an ideal and start embracing where we are right now. Realistic expectations help both of us feel less pressure and more grace in our relationship.
Small, Consistent Moments Matter
Find moments to connect, even in the middle of the chaos. These moments don’t require hours of planning—just simple, intentional actions.
Eric and I have made a practice of having quick check-ins. Sometimes it’s over a cup of coffee in the morning, or we’ll send a funny video to each other during the day. It’s those tiny yet consistent interactions that keep us emotionally grounded and connected.
We also have weekly check-ins to help keep us a priority. We’ve created a simple series of three questions that help us stay aligned and ensure we’re both showing up for each other:
How did I serve you this week, or how did I show up for you this week?
What could I have done better?
What did you really like that I did?
The great thing about these questions is they're simple, but they really open up the conversation.
Be Present in Your Time Together
Even if it’s just for a few minutes sitting on the couch after the kids are in bed, Eric and I focus on being present with each other. It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of everyday life, juggling business, parenting, and everything else. But those few moments of connection, even if we’re not talking much, are crucial.
Eric and I learned early on that it’s not always about constant conversation. It’s about being physically present, in the same space, without distractions. Whether we’re sitting quietly, watching TV together, or even just holding hands, we know that these small moments make a huge difference.
Sometimes we’re both tired and there’s not much to say, but that doesn’t diminish the value of those moments. Eric will be playing his video games, and I’ll be scrolling through Instagram, and while we’re doing our own thing, we’re still physically there with each other.
4. Carve Out Family Time Daily
Ever since our son Cam was born, we’ve had a strict no-phone policy at the dinner table. As entrepreneurs, it’s so easy to keep the connection going — whether it’s replying to messages on Voxer, checking something on Instagram, or even just glancing at an email. With the phone right there, it's tempting to stay plugged in and distracted.
For us, dinner is the one time of the day where we're all together, for at least 30 minutes.
We don't let work or outside distractions get in the way of connecting as a family. It’s really important that we adhere to this rule because it sets the tone for how we relate to each other — as a couple and as parents.
5. Communicate Your Needs
This is huge. Communication in our marriage has been key (and what we talked about in episode 2!).
There are days when my mind is racing with client calls, coaching, and emails.
I’ll be honest…some days I’m not great at being emotionally available. But Eric gets it. He knows when I need time to unwind, and when I’m ready to talk, we have those deeper conversations. It’s about understanding and respecting each other’s needs.
One of the ways we communicate our needs is by simply asking for help when needed. For example, I’ll ask Eric to round up the kids for dinner when I’m feeling a bit frazzled, or when I need a few moments of space. It’s a simple but effective way to communicate that I need a little time to recharge. 6. Plan for Bigger Moments
Of course, we also plan ahead for bigger moments. Life gets busy, but we make time for mini getaways, staycations, or even just a date night out.
“We don’t always need a big vacation; even just a night away or a quiet afternoon together makes a world of difference.”
We’re intentional about putting those moments on the calendar, but it’s not about making it perfect. It’s about being present together, even if the night isn't going as planned.
Building a Strong Relationship Foundation
Balancing business, parenting, and marriage is ongoing work, but the effort is worth it. By setting realistic expectations, making time for each other, and prioritizing communication, we’ve been able to create a foundation that holds strong.
It’s about being intentional in both the quiet moments and the big gestures, remembering that even in chaos, our relationship deserves our best.
Listen to the rest of this special Marriage Series on the Mom Founders Table podcast for more tips!
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