As women we are conditioned to make sure everyone around us is doing okay, and if they are struggling it becomes our responsibility to fix it.
After we say hello, we immediately ask, “How are you doing?”
It’s polite, it’s kind and it’s what we are taught is the “right thing.”
The issue is, we aren’t answering honestly when someone else asks us the same question. And we definitely aren’t asking the same question to ourselves.
Anytime I’ve had a blow up, mental breakdown or felt extremely overwhelmed it always comes from the compounding effect of too much going on my plate and not enough care for myself.
I get it. It feels impossible to get a break when you have a team of people in your home and in your business that constantly need things from you.
We think that continuing to answer those calls and emails (as quickly as possible) will get us where we want to go, so we ignore all the signs that we need support.
I knew when I reached a point of feeling stressed constantly, snapping at my kids and wanting to just shut down at the end of the day, instead of connecting with my husband, something had to change.
So I created a process that would make me aware of where I am each day and allow me to have whatever is needed in place to feel my best so that I can be my best.
It’s a practice I do daily that has decreased my stress and created a better relationship with the most important person in my life, me.
It’s called the Honest Self-Inventory and the purpose is to find out how you are actually doing and give yourself what you need first, before you serve everything and everyone around you.
When I am getting ready in the mornings for my day, I ask myself in the mirror - How am I doing today, like really how am I doing? And then I answer honestly.
Without shame or judgment.
Some days I am feeling powerful, confident and excited - some days I want to crawl in a hole and hate parenting. It’s all normal.
I think about where I am on a scale of 1-5, name the number and then think about what I need to feel my best.
I intentionally open up an honest conversation with myself about how I am doing, gauge where I really am and then ask myself - What do you need? How do you want to feel?
Having this conversation my brain starts to create solutions for how I can be happier, ask for help, create something new, have a conversation.. Or whatever is needed to feel my best.
Imagine yourself, as you get ready for the day - checking in like this, just like you would do with a friend. Asking yourself the same questions and creating possible solutions to feel and be your best - so that you can show up for everyone else like you really want to.
If you practice this, just for a week - you will notice a shift as you start to move yourself, your feelings and your desires to the forefront of your mind.
And this is how you build a deeper, better relationship with yourself.
Knowing how you are feeling and what you need each day will allow you to be more proactive with asking for help, having hard conversations, getting support and seeing your stress before you have an emotional breakdown.
This means your stress levels never get to “burn your whole life down” level.
This quick, easily implementable practice as well at 6 other tools to reduce your stress so that you can thrive in your success in 2023 are all inside my 7-Day Stress Solution.
Learn more about working with Kelsea and her story here.