We entangle so much of who we are by defining ourselves as what we do. Every day we introduce ourselves as our job titles, we check boxes off our list to show what we’ve done and we celebrate ourselves only when we’ve reached certain goals.
We, as women, have continued to believe that we are only as worth as what we produce. And it’s not our fault. It’s just what we’ve been raised and conditioned to believe from a young age. You aren’t rewarded for naps or celebrated for choosing your own desires over someone else's. You are clapped for, cheered on and recognized only when you are accomplishing and achieving.
Here’s the problem, we carry that need for recognition and the high of achievements into adulthood which means we are constantly doing too much, and it never feels like enough.
High-achieving women making great impact with their work are working too many hours, saying yes to too many things and feeling resentful as they’ve stretched themselves past a capacity they didn’t know excited. Core human needs and desires are being ignored, time with people we love is being sacrificed and it’s all being looked at as normal.
And nothing changes, until something changes.
Detangling Your Self-Worth From Traditional Productivity Metrics
In order to change the feeling of productivity that we are chasing, we have to change the lenses in which we view it. This requires us to redefine and challenge our current thoughts, and beliefs, to write a new definition that we can adhere to. We have to be willing to change what we believe about productivity, how we praise ourselves, and the things worth celebrating.
WIth traditional productivity metrics that are related to success, our quality of life and the journey itself is completely ignored. People are qualified as successful for all the things they’ve done, and so following that path - we do more.
But what if we redefine what productivity means to us? And what if we write a definition that promotes sustainability and an enhanced quality of life being true markers of success?
With this new definition we see how productive rest and relaxation are, because it allows us to operate with clear minds as leaders. We have an understanding that external accomplishments are only continuously possible with evolution and innovation that comes from stepping away from the day-day-day grind. We view stillness and fulfillment as metrics that dictate our productivity.
Not everything you do has to be for a result.
In fact, one of the greatest shifts you can make is to start making choices that enhance and elevate the present. Right now, your process and your journey is all that is guaranteed.
So, will you continue to view yourself as productive and worthy of success only when you’ve checked every box… knowing there will always be more boxes to check?
Breaking Free From The High-Achiever Trap
I love that you are determined and goal-oriented, I am too. But here’s the truth, sometimes it’s too heavy and hard to uphold those expectations continuously.
I spent years of my life trying to find the middle ground, and while I feel like I am here now - it took me spending time on either side of achieving to find it. I don’t believe that success comes from laying on your couch and doing meditations to manifest money falling from the sky. I also don’t believe that people who have no relationships with the people who are closest to them and spend more time working than living or taking care of themselves are truly successful.
I believe that we can achieve great things, stack external accomplishments and build incredible wealth that gives us freedom - without our lives revolving around work or our minds unable to turn off.
I believe that the highest metric for success is your quality of life, because that’s all you have right now.
And I want to help you find this middle ground where peace and contentment are alongside your drive and ambition.
This is what it comes down to;
You need higher standards and you need better boundaries.
Raising your standards means that you call yourself out to call yourself up. It means that you get really honest with yourself about what you will and won’t allow for your life and business, what feels shitty and what you want more of. And getting rid of low hanging fruit that is no longer serving you, your family or your business.
Boundaries are how you protect these standards, because it will feel absolutely terrifying to say you will no longer be doing something you’ve done before like working certain hours, working with a type of client, doing a certain service, etc. Without setting and holding these boundaries, your standards are just an idea you’ll never put into practice.
What does this have to do with your worthiness and productivity?
You need to have a plan and give yourself permission for those periods of rest and relaxation so that you can clearly see how they contribute to your further success.
With higher standards and boundaries will come honest inventory about how much you are working and the type of work you are doing so you can clearly identify if you are pushing yourself to be more productive just because… you think it’s what you SHOULD be doing.
Achieving more doesn’t make you a better human. Doing more doesn’t make you a better leader. More isn’t the answer when it comes to doing - it’s looking at the things you are doing to make sure they are actually moving the needle.
Once you’ve outlined your new standards and put in place boundaries to protect those standards, it’s time to get crystal clear on the best use of your time and energy by organizing your schedule to align with what you’ve set in place.
By creating a new schedule it will challenge you to step away, and step out - so that you can step up. If you want to create your new CEO schedule for 2024, make sure you join me for my free live workshop.
Using traditional productivity metrics is a trap that keeps you chasing instead of enjoying your life. Redefining what productivity means to you, holding yourself to higher standards and creating boundaries with your time and energy that promote personal-fulfillment will allow you to see that you can have the external accomplishments but they no longer dictate how worthy you are.